Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Dignity is Relative, Y'all

I have to wonder if the people who said Bush would bring dignity back to the White House are still saying that after all that has happened. They probably are, since they can never admit they're wrong just as Bush can't take responsibility for any of his myriad fuck-ups. Let's have a review of what is dignified and what is not--

NOT DIGNIFIED-
  • Getting a blowjob

DIGNIFIED-
  • Stealing elections
  • Ignoring 52 warnings of attack
  • Getting over 3,000 people killed on 9/11 due to incompetence
  • Lost Osama
  • Lied to the whole country about Iraq
  • Unmasked an undercover CIA agent
  • Invaded a sovereign country based on lies
  • Turned whole world against us
  • Sleazy no-bid contracts with war profiteers
  • "Lost" more than 8 billion dollars in Iraq
  • Let many more people die during Katrina due to incompetence
  • Caused more American deaths in Iraq than 9/11
  • Turned biggest surplus ever into largest deficit ever

And that's the short list. If it's only human to make mistakes, then the Chimp-in-Chief is truly subhuman.


It seems as long as you talk to your imaginary friend in the sky and never get a blowjob, you can fuck everything up and you'll still be A-OK with the typical Bush voter. But I guess it makes sense when you consider how this country was founded on some seriously warped Puritan values. It's amazing how much of them we still carry around.

The Puritans weren't searching for freedom when they came here like the myths we're told in our history books. They were kicked out of their homeland for being so goddamn annoying. The only freedom they wanted was the freedom to tell everyone else what they could and couldn't do and to punish whoever they wanted for whatever reason. Everyone in Europe got tired of their preachy bullshit, so England and Denmark finally did the sensible thing and sent them packing.

Hundreds of years later we're back at square one dealing with the same self-righteous, preachy, violent, hypocritical douchebags with sexual hangups that stumbled onto these shores so long ago.

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